If Bella Were A Boy
by RecycledYouth
Summary: What if Bella had been a boy? Follow the story of Wendell Swan as he tries to unriddle the mysteries of Forks, Washington, and the intoxicating sight of Edward Cullen, a mysterious vampire.
1. Chapter 1 Preface The New Boy

If Bella Were a Boy

Preface

I'd never seen a face like this, so evil, twisted by rage and bloodlust.

His icy fingers cupped my chin as his mouth curled to the side.

"Where is he?" he spat, a deep, guttural and animalistic growl burning in his chest. I tried not to scream against his fury, but was too weak to suppress my cries. I closed my eyes, biting down on my tongue.

"Look at me!" he screamed, crushing my leg with his mammoth strength.

I screamed, instinctively reaching out, my fist breaking against his cheek.

"Tell me...where he is." His voice came out like poison, slow and intoxicating, as his breath fanned my face.

"I...don't know," I sobbed, cradling my fist and wiping my tears.

"Liar!" he bellowed, squeezing my broken leg.

I felt my body convulse under the overwhelming rush of agony; blood sputtered from the open wound, staining his marble face. From my party open eyes, I could see him lick his lips and relish.

"P-p-p-plea-ea-eas-se," I stuttered.

He chuckled before holding down my broken leg.

I closed my eyes, hoping that Edward would not show up, that I had done my best, and that he would be safe.

One – The New Boy

When it's this hot, it's almost a miracle that anyone can even breathe in this weather. The sun is like a raging, yellow spore, stretching across the clear blue sky. What I'd do for clouds right now.

But I guess it doesn't really matter, since in a matter of hours, I'll be leaving all of this behind. My entire life here, in the sunny Arizona metropolis, will be over. I'm abandoning the bustling city life, for a more complacent and mundane existence in the perpetually rainy village – I mean "town" – of Forks, Washington.

"Wen," my mom said, frowning. She didn't take her eyes off of the road.

"Mom, I know what you're going to say... Just, don't," I said, looking away. If I see her cry, I'm going to cry.

She sniffled, sighing. "I'm sorry, honey."

"I need this," I said, for probably the fiftieth time.

"But why?"

"Mom, don't," I said, clenching my fists.

"Wendell, you don't have to go."

"Mom, please."

"I just don't understand."

"_Mom_."

"If you just explain it to me –," she tried.

"Mom!"

Just like that, she stopped. Great, it was bad enough leaving, now I was leaving and she was upset.

"Mom," I started, turning in my seat. She didn't look at me. "Mommy."

She smiled at that, but it was partly stifled by tears. "I'm going to miss you."

"Me too, mom. But...I just feel...like I need this. I can't go with you and Phil."

She nodded, but I don't think she understood.

When we get to the airport, reality sinks in.

"You come home right away if you don't want to be there anymore," she said, stressing over me for the last time.

She ruffled my hair and straightened my shirt.

"I will," I promised.

She nodded. "Okay, go on. You're going to miss your flight. Give Charlie a hug for me," she said, locking her arms around me.

And then she was gone, and my life in Arizona came to a stop.

It's hard to describe so much green. That's all Forks is, a green wonderland of perpetual rain and silver overcast. Everything seems to glow under the pale lights of Forks.

It's beautiful, don't get me wrong. But it's too much.

Charlie, my dad, picked me up from the airport in the police cruiser. Seeing it made me stop in my tracks; riding in the cruiser always made me feel like a stupid criminal.

"Hey, Wen," Charlie said, an awkward smile on his friendly face.

"Hi, dad," I said, mid-hug.

He took my bags, a total of two suitcases, seeing as all of my Arizona weather clothes was built for summer.

"How you been, kiddo?" he asked, stepping into the cruiser.

I shrugged. "Ok."

"How's Arizona?"

"Dry."

"And Renee?"

"She's good."

"And her husband? Phil, is it?"

I looked at him through narrowed eyes. "He's fine."

"School?"

This is question-answer thing is beginning to be too much.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"_Dad_."

He got stiff. Ever since I came out four years ago, Charlie's been trying to understand, but he always managed to make things more awkward.

"It's just a question, sport," he said.

"I know...but it's awkward talking to you about that," I frowned.

"Why? Do you talk to your mom about it?" he asked, hurt.

"No. And I don't have a boyfriend," I assured him.

He coughed silently. "I think you're going to like here. We just got a department store, and they're accepting applicants so I put in a good word for you."

Maybe a job and school would help me get over the decision of coming to live here.

"Thanks, dad," I said. "I was going to do some volunteer work at the hospital, too. I did it in Arizona and I really liked it."

"That's great. I'm sure Dr. Cullen will appreciate the help," he smiled.

"Dr. Cullen?"

"Yeah, he's the head doctor at the hospital."

We pulled into the driveway and I was flooded by memories. The little red house looked exactly the same, with white paneled windows and a dark brown door with a matching roof.

"Home sweet home," I mumbled under my breath.

Charlie opened the trunk and took out my luggage. I followed him to the front door and braced myself for the wall of school photos. Lining the soft blue walls of the hallway was the evolution of my awkwardness, from second grade to my sophomore year.

I looked the same, with dark brown, short cropped hair and blue eyes on pale skin. My ears used to be bigger, but I managed to grow into them somewhat, and my nose was upturned; I had my mom's lips.

"Dad, if I'm going to be living here, can we please take these down?"

Charlie set my suitcases down and sighed. "We can move'em, but I'd rather not take them down completely."

"Dad, please," I begged.

He raised his eyebrow.

"Fine," I said, taking my suitcases.

"I'll order pizza for dinner in an hour," Charlie called after me.

"No meat," I said.

He followed me upstairs. "No meat?"

I stopped in front of my bedroom door. "Yeah, I'm a vegetarian."

"I'll order half and half," Charlie said.

"Okay."

My room small, but there's a computer and a desk now, but my bed still has the bright yellow sheets I liked when I was ten.

"Wendell, hurry downstairs!"

"I'll be down in a second," I called.

I set my things down on my bed before heading downstairs. Charlie isn't in the living room so I go to the front.

He's standing on the porch, and when he hears me coming he beams.

"Got a surprise for you," he smiles.

In the driveway, next to the police cruiser, is a bright yellow VW Beetle, and inside is a teenage boy with long hair.

"You got me a car?" I asked, confusedly.

"In your favorite color!"

The boy, who seemed vaguely familiar, came towards us. He tossed Charlie the keys and smiled.

"Hey, Wen, remember me?" the boy asked.

Jacob, his name is Jacob, I remembered.

"Uh, yeah. Jacob?"

He nodded. "Yeah. How you been? It's been awhile."

"Yeah, like, five years, right?"

"Six," he corrected.

"Jacob's dad Billy sold the car to me," Charlie said. "It wasn't in very good working condition, but Jacob here is quite the mechanic, fixed her right up."

It was cute, and it was my favorite color. But I still had my reservations.

"Thanks, dad, that's really great of you," I started.

"But?" he asked, seeing right through me.

"What if the car breaks down? I'm a total idiot when it comes to those kinds of things," I said.

"That won't be a problem," Jacob interjected. "I changed the engine and she runs great."

He's still smiling at me; his eyes are dark but inviting.

"See, everything's fine," Charlie smiled.

I nodded. "Thanks, dad."

I hugged him, awkwardly.

"Thanks, Jacob," I said, reaching my hand out.

He took it; I remembered him being at least two years younger than me, but his hand was bigger than mine; he was taller than me too.

"It's was fun," he laughed.

I nodded again. "Well, I should probably go unpack. Thanks, Jacob."

"No problem. We should hang out soon," he said.

"Uh, yeah. Maybe after I get settled with school and work," I said.

"Sounds good," he smiled. "I'll give you a call."

"I don't have a cell phone," I said.

"That's okay."

"I'll give you a ride back to the reservation, Jacob," Charlie said.

"Thanks, Charlie," he said.

And then they were gone. I walked around the Beetle a couple of times, examining it. It was in pretty good condition, a little dented, and the interior was tan and a little ripped. But I liked it.

I folded my clothes slowly that night, after dinner. And then when I went to bed, I cried myself to sleep.

The morning was gray and wet, but that wasn't a surprise. My eyes were still puffy from crying.

Looking out the window, the green world was sprawled out in front of me. It was endless, and the trees turned into a swirling mirage and I suddenly felt sick.

After getting ready, a thick gray jacket and a dark pair of jeans, I joined Charlie in the kitchen. He was wearing his uniform – I forgot to mention that Charlie of the Chief of Police is in little old Forks.

"Morning, sport," he smiled.

"Morning," I said, serving myself cereal.

"Ready for school?" he asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be," I sighed.

He smiled awkwardly. "Renee tells me that you're good in school."

"I guess," I shrugged.

"You guess?" he laughed.

"I do okay," I said. "I like school."

He nodded, laughing. "So I here."

"Can I give you a lift to school?" he asked.

I looked at him with horrified eyes. "No. I have the car. I think I know where it is."

He looked uneasy.

"Dad, I'm seventeen," I reaffirmed. "I have my license. And I would rather die than have you take me to school in the cruiser."

"Okay, okay," he said.

"Thank you," I said, finishing my cereal.

For a minute, the kitchen was silent.

"I'm going to get a head start," I said.

Dad stood, "Okay. Be safe."

"Dad, I'm the son of the police chief, no one is going to do anything. Besides, it's Forks, not Los Angeles."

He smiled, but wasn't convinced. "I don't want to mess this up."

"Mess what up?"

"This thing they call "parenting". I haven't done it for more than a few months, so you're still that little baby to me, Wendell. I don't want Renee to not trust me."

I couldn't help but smile. "Dad, it's fine. I'm not a baby and Renee trusts you. You're not going to screw this up. I'm in the safest little town in the world, and nothing is going to happen."

When I pulled into the parking lot, my stomach flipped. It was the first day of school all over again, but this time, I didn't know anybody and it was February.

I was early, so there were hardly any cars.

I sat in the Beetle, clenching the steering wheel until my knuckles were white. All I could do was breathe and tell myself that everything was okay.

I got out of the car as students began arriving. I hugged my messenger bag to my hip and made my way to the admittance office.

The woman behind the desk looked up at me with kind green eyes when I walked in.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

"Um, yes. My name is Wendell Swan," I said. "It's my first day."

"Oh, yes, of course! Chief Swan's son," she smiled. "I've got your schedule right here."

She handed me the piece of paper and wished me a good day before asking me to come back after school.

My first period was physics, and that passed by quickly. I was grateful that Mr. Baker didn't make me introduce myself to the class.

I wasn't so lucky in calculus, when my evil instructor had me tell the class where I was from and my name.

P.E. was the worst; I did not fair well in athletics in Arizona either.

By the end of the day, I was glad when art came rolling by.

When I stepped into the classroom, I saw him. He was sitting in the farthest corner, the pale, gray light from the windows casting him into view. His eyes were golden and his hair was cropped, a vivid shade of copper. He was uncommonly pale, his skin like a stone.

He was staring at me, too. But his eyes weren't quizzical or searching, instead they were narrowed and angry.

"You must be Wendell Swan." It was my teacher, Mr. Lane. He was smiling broadly and he accepted my schedule. "Yes, just take a seat at the last table, near Mr. Cullen."

Cullen? The doctor's son?

I nodded and walked down the aisle, towards my seat. My face was hot and I was sure that I was red.

I sat down. By this time, I recognized most of the faces from earlier. A few of my new classmates even smiled at me and said "hi".

But not this boy.

I let myself look at him, and I regretted it. His piercing stare was chilling; he made no attempt to hide his disdain.

Kill me now, I thought.

He was the most beautiful boy I'd even seen; everything about him was immaculate. But even in his perfection, he frightened me. I couldn't stay here, not for an hour every single day.

"I can ask for a new seat," I said, under my breath, only so that he could hear me.

He seemed confused. "No. That will not be necessary." His voice was cold and unwavering.

I tried to stand, but felt a hand grip my leg. I was rooted to my seat.

"I said, no," he repeated.

He was strong. Even after he pinned me to my seat, he didn't let go. His grasp was like iron.

"You're hurting me," I said, trying to not let my voice break.

His eyes widened, and he released me. "I'm sorry."

My leg was throbbing.

"Wendell, was it?" he asked.

I looked up at him, nodding.

"I'm Edward... Edward Cullen."


	2. Chapter 2 Complications

Two – Complications

That first day was a blur, except for him, the boy called Edward Cullen.

I couldn't help but think how strange it had been, the way his fingers had clasped so tightly to my legs like iron, the animalistic look in his golden burning eyes, and his inhumanly perfect face.

After visiting the office again, I got the paperwork from the attendant and drove home slowly; it was drizzling, of course, but I had forgotten an umbrella.

"Hey, Wendell!"

I turned around; it was a boy, his name was Mike Newton. He has saved my life in P.E. when a ball ricocheted off one of the bleachers. He was friendly and cute, with traces of baby fat on his innocent face.

"Um, hi," I said, holding my messenger bag over my head.

He smiled widely. "A few of us guys were going to go get some food; do you want to join us? It would be a good way to meet new people."

I tried to smile, but the thought of a public excursion made me sick. "Um, I don't know. I don't have a cell phone, so I couldn't tell Charlie, and he'd be worried."

"Charlie?" he asked.

"Oh, sorry, my dad," I corrected.

"You call your dad by his name?"

I shook my head. "Not to his face; sorry, that sounded bad. In Arizona, my mom always called him "Charlie", and never "my dad", so, I guess, it just stuck."

He nodded. "Um, I have a cell. You could use mine."

I mulled over the thought in my head. "Okay. Thanks."

Mike handed me his phone, a relatively old model.

After dialing Charlie at the police station, I pressed the phone to my ear and we walked towards shelter.

"Chief Swan," Charlie said.

"Uh, hi, dad, it's Wen," I said.

I could hear him cheer up. "Hey, sport! How was school?"

"School was great," I lied. "Listen, I was just invited to go get some food, and I was wondering if I could join."

"Uh, sure... Who invited you?" he sounded uneasy.

"Mike Newton," I said. Mike lit up next to me, smiling from ear to ear. His blonde hair was slightly damp from the rain that had bled through his hood.

"Oh, Karen and Joey's boy. Sure, just don't be out to late," he said, sounding slightly more assured.

"Thanks, I won't," I said, hanging up.

Mike beamed at me. "So?"

"Where to?" I asked.

"Great! Um, it's going to be me, Eric, Jessica, and Angela," he said. "We were thinking the new Chinese place that recently opened."

"Sure," I nodded.

"Do you need a ride?" I asked, hopefully.

"No, it's fine. I have my car."

He frowned a little. "Do you want me to ride with you?"

"Um, sure."

He smiled, again.

He walked me towards his circle of friends. I recognized all of them from at least one of my classes.

"Hi, Wendell," the girl I recognized as Angela said.

I waved awkwardly at all of them.

"I'm going to ride with Wendell, we'll follow you guys," Mike announced.

The girl named Jessica looked at me a little uneasily. "Cool. Let's go."

Mike and I walked towards my Beetle; his eyes lit up when he saw it.

"Sweet, man! Vintage," he said.

Isn't everything here? I thought.

"Thanks, my dad kind of surprised it on me yesterday. Kind of like a "welcome home" present, I guess."

It was still cold inside the cab of the car. I turned the key and then the heat, letting the car warm up.

"So, how do you like Forks?" Mike asked, throwing his backpack in the back seat.

"It's okay," I lied.

"You sound convincing," he laughed.

I shrugged. "I miss the sun, already."

He nodded. "Yeah, it takes some getting used to. I moved her from California a few years back." He grabbed my shoulder, his fingers loose. "I was the new kid, too, once." He was staring right at me, his blue eyes full of understanding, and something else.

I rolled my shoulders, hoping he'd let go. "Thanks."

He nodded, looking out the window. "So, we should probably get going."

"Yeah."

"Where to?"

"Just follow that green car," he pointed.

And that's when I saw him, his eyes pinned directly to me. He was sitting by a silver car, his arms folded tightly over his chest and his lip pulled to the side. I could see the glow of his golden eyes from here.

We locked eyes and it was still for a moment. My heart went wild in my chest and my fingers felt weak around the wheel.

"Wen? Wendell?" Mike said.

Shaking my head, I turned to him. "Sorry. I guess I must've dazed out."

"Edward Cullen," he said, disdainfully.

I furrowed my brow. "What's wrong?"

He shrugged. "Never mind, let's just go."

"No, tell me," I said.

"It's nothing," Mike said, trying to smile.

I must have looked confused.

"He's just not the best guy around, okay?" Mike sighed. "He's kind of a dick."

I nodded. "Did he do something to you?"

"Not directly, he just isn't very nice."

"Okay, well... I won't press it. Let's just go eat."

"Thanks. Yeah, just follow Eric."

As I pulled out of my parking space, Edward and I watched each other. Mike talked about how he was freaking out about an upcoming math test, but I wasn't listening; I was transfixed by the mystery of this beautiful boy.

"Can I ask you something?" Mike asked.

I must have not answered.

"Wen?" he asked.

"Huh?"

"I said, can I ask you a question?" he repeated.

"Uh, yeah, sure," I said, pulling out of the parking lot, looking at Edward in the rearview mirror.

"I feel kind of stupid for asking..." Mike said.

Taking my eyes off Edward, I looked at him, "What?"

"Well, I heard someone say... Crap, never mind," he said, shaking his head and running his fingers through his blonde hair.

"No, just ask," I said. I knew what he was going to ask.

"Are you... I mean... Let me start over... Are you gay?"

I gave him a light smile. "Yes. I'm gay."

He sighed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"No, it's fine. I'm not embarrassed, so you shouldn't be either," I assured him.

"It's just...well, I don't really know any other gay guys in town...and... This is coming out wrong. Okay... I'm gay, too."

I turned to look at him, still driving. "What?"

"Yeah," he sighed, half-smiling. "I've never told anyone."

"And you told me because...?" I asked.

He raised his arms. "I don't know...I just had to say it. I know you don't know me, and I don't know you, but...I just felt comfortable telling you."

"Because I'm gay, too?"

"Maybe..."

"How do you feel?"

He laughed nervously. "I don't know...weird. I've never said it aloud..."

"And?"  
>"I feel good...I think. I feel better, relieved."<p>

"Wait, is that why you invited me to come eat with you guys?"  
>"No! I swear! I wasn't planning on telling you, but I just went for it."<p>

"Okay..."

He adjusted himself on the seat to look at me. "I promise."

I nodded. "I believe you."

"Please...don't tell anyone," Mike said, his expression pained.

"I won't," I said.

"Thanks..."

"No problem."

We had reached the restaurant, a small red building with oriental print in the windows. Eric parked and I took the spot next to him.

Reaching for his backpack, Mike sighed. "Could I maybe get a ride home? You know, after we eat?"

"Yeah, of course," I nodded. "Just leave you backpack in here."

He smiled, ear to ear. "Thanks!"

Inside the restaurant, Mike sat next to me in the booth, Jessica, Angela and Eric sat across from us.

"So, Wendell," Eric started.

"Just, Wen," I said.

He laughed. "Sorry. So, Wen, how do you like your classes?"

I shrugged. "They're okay. I like calculus, but not Mr. Ronan."

"No one does," he said. "You're taking calculus as a junior?"

I nodded. "I'm good at math."

"Maybe you could tutor Mike, he's terrible," Eric joked.

I decided then that I didn't like Eric.

"Eric, shut up," Mike glared, embarrassed.

"It was just a joke," Eric defended.

"How do you like art?" Angela asked, smiling.

"It's fine. You're in that class, too, right?" I asked.

"Yeah; I saw that you're partner is Edward..." she said.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. He didn't really say too much. I don't think he likes me very much," I admitted.

Mike shifted next to me.

"How can you tell?" Angela asked.

"Just the way he looked at me," I said.

"He looks at everyone like that," Jessica interjected. She was scowling at me, her pretty face scrunched up as she took a sip from her soda.

Mike cleared his throat. "What'd you take in Arizona?"

"It was a bigger school, so they offered a larger set of electives. I didn't have to take P.E., so I had three. But you guys don't have a creative writing class or a choir," I said, stirring sweetener into my iced tea. "This is my first year taking art. I'm not very good at it."

"Choir?" Angela asked, her face brightening up. "You sing?"

"Kind of," I shrugged. "I like music, and I play piano."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I've been playing since I was five."

"That's so cool!"

"I could give you a couple of lessons," I offered.

"Really? That would be great!"

"Yeah, no problem."

"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom," Jessica said, looking at me icily.

She stepped out of the booth and walked towards the end of the restaurant.

"Did I say something wrong?" I asked.

"No, Jessica's just a bitch. She gets some getting used to," Eric said, chugging the rest of his soda.

Angela pulled out a notebook and tore out a page. "Here's my number, let me know when you're free so we can hang out."

"Oh, thanks. I was actually thinking of volunteering at the hospital," I said.

Eric narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"I did it in Phoenix and I really enjoyed it. I'm considering going into medicine," I said.

"That's cool," Mike smiled.

After we finished eating, I felt like I had to get out of there. "I think my dad will be expecting me home soon. I should get going."

"Okay, we'll see you at school tomorrow," Angela said.

"Yeah, sure thing."

After paying, Mike and I left.

"I'm sorry about that," he apologized, hanging his head in the car.

"No, it was fun. Thanks for inviting me."

"Jessica and Eric aren't usually like that."

"It's fine, Mike, really. I had a great time."

Mike cleared his throat. "Listen...I was wondering if maybe..."

"Yeah?" I asked, putting on my seatbelt.

"If you wanted to do this again, just you and me," he said, not looking on me.

I stopped. "Like, a date?"

"It wouldn't have to be," he whispered.

My eyes widened. "I've never been on a date before."

His eyes flashed, locking with mine. "Really? Not even in Phoenix?"

I shook my head.

"But...you're so nice...and smart...and cute," he stopped, his face burning red.

"Um...thanks. That would be great," I said, hoping to make him feel better.

He was suddenly smiling with relief. "I know this really awesome spot in the woods we could go to afterwards. Would this weekend work for you?"

This was all happening too fast. "Sure."

He was beaming all over.

Driving Mike home, he rambled the entire time, until we stopped at his house. He sat awkwardly, folding his hands over his backpack.

He turned to me, and quickly pecked me on the cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow!" he said, jumping out of the car.

I watched him step inside, holding my cheek the entire time.

I couldn't describe the confusion coursing through my veins. My face felt hot. My second day in Fork, and I already had a "date".

But the only boy I could think about was Edward Cullen.


	3. Sneak Peek

**Sorry I haven't posted anything in the past few days. Enjoy this sneak peek.**

* * *

><p>Edward sat at the end of my bed, his face rigid in thought. His long fingers traced circles on my bare ankle; they wore cold, and icy, but something about the way they twirled over my skin drove spikes down my back.<p>

And then he looked at me, his gold eyes warmer than they had been moments ago. He smiled crookedly.

"I'm sorry, I have to try very hard to compose myself around you," he said, slowly.

I couldn't speak, so I nodded.

He chuckled, but not cruelly. "You're very quiet."

I cleared my throat, "I'm sorry."

He waved my apology away. "No, don't be. It's intriguing."

"Intriguing?" I asked, my voice hoarse.

He nodded. "Yes...very. I can't figure you out. It's rather infuriating actually. I've never met a human, or anyone, for that matter, quite like you. You're different...special, somehow. But I don't know why."

I tried not to laugh. "Special? Me?"

His eyes turned cold. "There it is..."

I froze. "What? What is it? Is it on my face?" I reached for my cheeks, brushing away at my skin.

And then he laughed, leaning forward, touching his fingers to my face.

"No...that's not what I meant..." he said, coolly. His breath was cold and sweet. In the dull, yellow light of my bedroom, his skin was hard and almost gray, smooth like some impossible stone. His thumb rested under my chin and he brought my face towards his, our mouths inches away.

But then he stopped, my heart hammering against my chest.

"I'm sorry..." he sighed, letting go of me completely. He pinched the bridge of his nose, almost as if he had a headache.

"Please...don't..." I tried, rooted in place.

"It's not safe," he said, his copper hair shaking.

"_Please_," I said, again. But this time I grabbed his shoulder gently, feeling the unfathomably stone-like muscles under his jacket.

He went rigid, but didn't stop me.

I took that as a cue, kneeling on my bed and trying my best to pull him towards me. His eyes were wide, almost fearful. I bet he could hear the fervent fluttering of my heart as it threatened to burst.

In an instant, too fast to even conceive, his fingers gripped my waist and his lips crashed against mine, like the angry waters of the ocean splitting on the rock beds. My blood came alive, singing in veins. Without thinking, I laced my fingers hurriedly in his hair, pulling him into me, letting him settle in between my legs, breathing him in.

I was breathless when he pushed himself away from me, his eyes frantic but colored with passion. His arms were pressed tightly at his sides, his fingers locked into fists.

"I'm sorry!" I said.

He didn't blink. "I hurt you...I was _reckless_. I hurt you."

"No! No, you didn't! I'm fine," I tried.

But then I felt it, the gripping pain in my sides, the vivid discoloring on my waist. His fingers had burned into my skin, leaving behind purplish bruises

"But how?"  
>He quivered. "I can smell it...the blood...your blood. I <em>hurt<em> you..."

I held my sides, trying to not flinch.

"I'm fine, Edward," I lied.

"Don't lie to me, Wen," he growled.

I stood up, biting down on my lip as pain shredded down my sides.

"See? I'm fine. You didn't do anything wrong," I said.

"You're in pain."

I shook my head. "Please, listen to me."

"Never again..." he said, relaxing and hanging his head. "We can never do that... It was too much..."

"But..."

"I'm sorry... I should never have allowed myself to get that far."

Feeling rejected, I sat down on my bed, feeling the soft fabric of my sheets. I felt stupid, but my eyes started watering, threatening to burst with tears.

In a flash, he was there, kneeling in front of me, holding my face in his hand.

"Please, Wendell, don't cry... I'm sorry...but that should not have happened. I should not have allowed myself to go that far... You are too special...and delicate...I will not let myself hurt you again," he whispered.

I rested my hands on his shoulders, my tears catching on his fingers. He looked scared as he watched it trail to his wrist.

He pulled it away and traced the droplet with his tongue, shuddering.

He kissed my forearm.

"You have become everything to me... I will not lose you in my carelessness," he confessed.

"I love you, Edward," I blurted.

His eyes widened and his jaw squared.

"Say it...again...please," he heaved, breathless.

I rested my forehead against his, gasping. "I love you, Edward."

He held my body, looking me carefully in the eye. "You are my life."

He kissed me tenderly, then, before breaking away.

"Charlie's home," he sighed.

"What?" I asked, frantically pulling myself off the bed.

"I have to go," Edward said, straightening his jacket.

I ran to the door, holding down the lock. "But..."

He smiled, wiping the remaining tears from my face. "I will be back; you can be assured of that. I love you, Wendell."

And then he was gone.


End file.
